Humor

Unclassified

October 26, 2015

Welcome home IS

Welcome home Islamic State!

We believe that the organization known as The Islamic State should integrate into Canadian Society. We would be happy to assist in the establishment of a Caliphate in Canada. Canada is abundant in resources and has a wealth in unoccupied land in Canada’s North.

Just as the aboriginals have established a separate State within Canadian Society we believe that the Islamic State can legally create their own corporation. They can have self governance, self sufficiency, apply for loans and grants by provincial & federal government, operate on Sharia law as well as enjoy the basic freedoms that we Canadians abuse or take for lack of appreciation.

We want to assure The Islamic State that you have friends in America!

And we want to help you in anyway we can.

We would like to host a convention in Vancouver BC for you.

Vancouver is a great city abundant in multi-culture, amazing mountain & ocean views. People are gay & very friendly towards one anther.

We will help you integrate into Canadian Society. English would really speed up the process or if you speak an Asian language that would help.

Some tips:

Leave your AK at home we fight the regime with staplers (not effective but ‘Insha Allah all praise to Allah!)

Our woman are very attractive, if you have money you will go far! ‘Insha Allah!

Our brothers & sisters French kiss each other as a sign of friendship (when you are more aquatinted you can have jerk circles – Allah Akbar!

If you want to start a business an Escort business is very effective. The client calls, the girl comes by & the client hands over their money and the girl leaves. It’s all legal too! Praise Allah!

You might be thinking what a great country! And it is! We want you to experience it!

We call torture Advanced Interrogational Tactics so you can fuck people legally too! You can use your skills with the RCMP or The Agency. Just put Jihadist on your resume – God is great!

Canada sounds too good to be true. I know it totally is too!

I would like to invite members of The Islamic State to come to Vancouver British Columbia. We would love to host you!

If you would like to support our cause to relocate the Islamic State to a more peaceful region such as Canada support us!

We would like to raise funds to host a convention in Vancouver for a delegation of members from The Islamic State. We want to insure these people that we care about their cause and that they too can have our way of life.

You don’t need to be ashamed about homosexuality anymore, you will be surrounded by brothers. – ‘Insha Muhammad!

A Jew ruse

My dear brothers of IS did you not know? The ones you attack in Israel are not Jews! As it was written in some old text thousands of years ago a great deception would befall IS & this would count against their blessings. The Jews have tricked you so that you would think that you are incurring blessings for removing Jews when in fact you are attacking Canadians!

Let me quote from the old text.

Oh you who believe who is it that has blinded you? Who is it that has caused this great deception again my people IS? I dunno I was asking you!”  

The text is quite clear that the Jews of Israel have relocated to America. Sometime around 2001 September the 11th…that would make sense!

As we know in 2001 the Jews began to spend their Jew gold and they started to invest in the Stockmarket. They manipulated the markets across America and they were the direct cause in the 2008 financial collapse! Just as it was written!

A Jew will trade his gold and the nations will submit”

The Jews are great deceivers as we know as it was written.

The Jews moved to America and they convinced the Canadians (with Jew gold) to relocate their people to Israel. The Jews live in peace & safety in Canada while they provoke IS into killing Canadians in Israel. IS thought they were killing Jews when in fact they are Canadian! Couldn’t they tell by the way Canadians look? I mean look at this guy!57a

The Jews live an affluent life in Canada while Canadians are being persecuted by IS (accidentally I might add)

Oh how my people have been deceived by the yah-hood!” 

You see it was written that the Jews would put up a great divider of water around them. The ocean!

Canada is surrounded by water & the Jews live in peace & safety.

In Jew Canada they all greet one anther with “Peace & safety my dear Aki.”

My people shall still incur blessings but not that of their forefathers.”

The text is quite clear that IS is still acquiring blessings for removing Canadians but they are not getting the blessing of a Jew.

The martyrs will be disappointed when they get their scorecards.

“A great switching of the nations will occur and the Jew will be affluent in peace & safety protected by water.” 

It is clear that Canadians are the biggest losers in this.

We encourage IS to stop killing Canadians in their new homeland of “I’m a Canadian I can do what I want so go fuck yourself…the home of the brave.”

Cuz I am confident :p

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47YClVMlthI

Donations Bitcoin: 16D8mqDDks3aDHdRiBjx2WSuRuePLzAuNQ

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